I don’t want to make any
comparation, this article is not about that, is not about who are better, who
are giving more, no… In this article I am just trying to give tribute to the
wonderful women that I found here, a testimony about their lifes, about their
suffering, about their peace and their joy. Here I will just try to say thanks
to these wonderful women, the senegalaise women, who are teaching me a great
lesson, the lesson of acceptance and giving myself to others.
As we all know, Senegal is a Muslim
country, so I will start by saying men are allowed to have 4 women, with the
“condition” of having the meanings to support them: give them a different
house, food, cloths, education for their children etc. Everybody knows that,
and although the women here are educated to accept that, and they say its ok, and
some of them want their husband to have more then one wife, that it does not
make a problem, I believe it is not to true.
Little by little I began to know some
of the women here, talk with them, be their friend, so slowly they began to
trust me, I to trust them, to be close, a thing that really makes me happy.
Every time I step in their house, these women are welcoming me with a great
smile, hugging me, holding my hand, I can see their joy, you would never think
that they are not happy with what they have. But after a while, after getting
to know them more deeply, I can see the sadness and maybe the dissapointment,
when we talk about the faith of the senegalaise woman. Most of them are raising
their children alone, 4-5 children, because the father is not taking the
responsibility of them. Most of the men are having, like I said 3-4 wifes, but
unfortunetly don’t have the means of supporting them, so they leave the first
wife, to live with the next one who is younger. So, the mother has to work, has
to raise her children alone. It is heart-breaking to see their suffering: “I
believed in him, that he will marry me also legally, with papers, but it wasn’t
like this. And I don’t want to have another man, I just want one, so he is the
one,. But I am strong, I can raise my children alone, I can give them
everything they need”. So, they are continuening their lifes alone with their
children. And because they work all day to support their children, they are not
home, nobody is at home to take care of them, or maybe just the grandmother,
but most of the times, the older brother or sister, which has 5-6 years, takes
care of the rest.
Some of the women, from time to
time, asks me to marry his husband or his neighbour, eventhough they know our
custom is different, but they are saying that just to see my reaction, they
already know that we can not handle that, we can not accept that. One of them
asked me once: “You, what can I do to make my husband to love me?” A question
that I never heard before, and franckly I didn’t know what to answer. She told
that he is all the time with the other woman. I just ask her, if she is happy
that he has another wife, she answered: “Of course!” I was stonned. “I just
asked you that, to see your reaction. You, the European women, cannot stand the
idea of sharing your husband”, she continued. And right she was. We continued our discusion, and slowly I
could see the sadness in her eyes, she was proud to be “the first woman”, that
was her only joy and confort. But she was telling me all that with a serenity
that, even today I cannot understand it. From where they have all that peace in
their soul? Why did they seem happier then the rest? And all the conversions
are ending with “Yalla baax na!!!” – God is good!!! After that last sentence, I
started to get it: the thing that makes them happy, is their faith!!!! The
faith that God is good, the hope that God is there, and everything they do,
everything that they suffer or maybe don’t like, is for God. All the sacrifices
that they are making is for God. That makes sens..
Maybe I cannot say all the things I
am living here, all the things that I wanted, but one thing I can say, I feel
lucky to know them, all the women are holy for the life they are living, by the
things they are doing for their children, for giving themselves all the way,
without regret. There are a lot of saints in the world that people don’t know,
half of them are the women from Senegal.
