The senegalaise women, the holy women…

            I don’t want to make any comparation, this article is not about that, is not about who are better, who are giving more, no… In this article I am just trying to give tribute to the wonderful women that I found here, a testimony about their lifes, about their suffering, about their peace and their joy. Here I will just try to say thanks to these wonderful women, the senegalaise women, who are teaching me a great lesson, the lesson of acceptance and giving myself to others.

            As we all know, Senegal is a Muslim country, so I will start by saying men are allowed to have 4 women, with the “condition” of having the meanings to support them: give them a different house, food, cloths, education for their children etc. Everybody knows that, and although the women here are educated to accept that, and they say its ok, and some of them want their husband to have more then one wife, that it does not make a problem, I believe it is not to true.

            Little by little I began to know some of the women here, talk with them, be their friend, so slowly they began to trust me, I to trust them, to be close, a thing that really makes me happy. Every time I step in their house, these women are welcoming me with a great smile, hugging me, holding my hand, I can see their joy, you would never think that they are not happy with what they have. But after a while, after getting to know them more deeply, I can see the sadness and maybe the dissapointment, when we talk about the faith of the senegalaise woman. Most of them are raising their children alone, 4-5 children, because the father is not taking the responsibility of them. Most of the men are having, like I said 3-4 wifes, but unfortunetly don’t have the means of supporting them, so they leave the first wife, to live with the next one who is younger. So, the mother has to work, has to raise her children alone. It is heart-breaking to see their suffering: “I believed in him, that he will marry me also legally, with papers, but it wasn’t like this. And I don’t want to have another man, I just want one, so he is the one,. But I am strong, I can raise my children alone, I can give them everything they need”. So, they are continuening their lifes alone with their children. And because they work all day to support their children, they are not home, nobody is at home to take care of them, or maybe just the grandmother, but most of the times, the older brother or sister, which has 5-6 years, takes care of the rest.

            Some of the women, from time to time, asks me to marry his husband or his neighbour, eventhough they know our custom is different, but they are saying that just to see my reaction, they already know that we can not handle that, we can not accept that. One of them asked me once: “You, what can I do to make my husband to love me?” A question that I never heard before, and franckly I didn’t know what to answer. She told that he is all the time with the other woman. I just ask her, if she is happy that he has another wife, she answered: “Of course!” I was stonned. “I just asked you that, to see your reaction. You, the European women, cannot stand the idea of sharing your husband”, she continued. And right she was.  We continued our discusion, and slowly I could see the sadness in her eyes, she was proud to be “the first woman”, that was her only joy and confort. But she was telling me all that with a serenity that, even today I cannot understand it. From where they have all that peace in their soul? Why did they seem happier then the rest? And all the conversions are ending with “Yalla baax na!!!” – God is good!!! After that last sentence, I started to get it: the thing that makes them happy, is their faith!!!! The faith that God is good, the hope that God is there, and everything they do, everything that they suffer or maybe don’t like, is for God. All the sacrifices that they are making is for God. That makes sens..

            Maybe I cannot say all the things I am living here, all the things that I wanted, but one thing I can say, I feel lucky to know them, all the women are holy for the life they are living, by the things they are doing for their children, for giving themselves all the way, without regret. There are a lot of saints in the world that people don’t know, half of them are the women from Senegal.

Different kind of feelings...

   Weird things happens all the time, but when they are happening one after another, the situation can become really confusing. In the last two weeks, although i haven't had a busy schedule, i can say that many hings happened, and i cannot stop wondering what are their purpose?
   I believe that every little thing that happens in your life, every person that you meet is not a coincidence, everything and everyone has a purpose, bigger or smaller, but still a purpose in your life. The small things that happened this week for me, were begining to mess up with my head: they were producing strange thoughts, doubts, maybe one regret that i have right now, and all of these lead to confusion, in a moment that i have to 100% sure of what i must do. So, a few minutes ago, something happened, someone happened, and after the small conversation that i had with him, i realized that everything else that happened this week, was all about feelings, past feelings, present and future ones. And now I know, now I know exactly what everything meant,..
    The first person that looked for me, didn't give me emotions because i still had something, but because of all the pain he caused me, it wasn't nostalgia, it was sadness, and it troubled me because maybe i still have some wounds that are not healed,..
   But the person that i have just talked to, made me feel good, gave hope and faith, even though he didn't say much, i felt him that he was with me, in every decision that i make, and that maybe he has more faith in me than i do, although he doesn't know me that well, we just didn't had the time..Different kind of feelings that people can give you..but this is good, because that's how we realized what we have, what we want, and more importantly what we feel, what is important to us: looking in the past? or looking towards the future?
   He said that we will meet again, eventough for that we will have to wait almost 2 years. Well, i prefer to meet someone from an instable future, then to meet with the person that i know in the past..I prefer to have hope and faith that..nothing is a coincidence...

Faith and destiny: Life like a puzzle!

    How many of you really believes in destiny? But not that kind of destiny that is automatic, not that kind of belief  that makes you think that you do not have a choice..No. But the kind of belief that makes you smile, and makes you trust yourself more then ever, and makes you think that everything in your life has a purpose. It's like a puzzle put together, you do not know how it will look like in the end, but you believe that it will be nice, perfect. It's the puzzle of our life! We are putting one piece next to another, trying to find out if they go together alright, if they do not, we can always make a change, and try another piece. In the language of this world we live in, changing the piece, is called: mistake! Yes, we make mistakes, and a lot of them, but the important thing is to believe, to trust, to have faith that somehow it will be alright.
     I am saying this now, because I made mistakes, and maybe I hurt people, dear ones, but I realized that, and I tried to make it right. Looking now back, I can say that I have few regrets, usually I am trying to do everything I can to avoid regrets: I try all that's new, I take chances, I run wild, I sing, I laugh on the streets, I feel with all intensity, I cry...I must say that not all the times I understood why some things had to happen, but now, when I think about how things turned out to be, yep..the pieces are clicked together just right..

      Even now...When I came back from Spain, I wished so hard to go back, to find a job, and to try to live there, because Spain made me feel like home, more then home. But home, I began to realize that my wish, my dream is almost impossible. How? why? where? Those where the questions that had no answer..So when the first job came along I took it, and I said to myself: "if other people can give up their wishes, and live just fine, maybe I will can to". I was wrong! I cannot, although I tried. Having no friends of mine close to me, not living the way I imagined myself after finishing my studies, began slowly to depress me..And exactly when I was losing hope and faith, one piece of the big puzzle of my life, just fall down, and clicked with this enormous noise, that woke me up from the deep slumbered I was falling in.. A great opportunity has just opened for me: I will go to Spain to work, in my domain..I am just thrilled! Of course I have fears, but I also have a big faith that, the next pieces of puzzle will click like before...:)
    Taking life the way it is! That's the most important thing I learned in Spain..not to be confused with not doing anything, just expecting..no. But to take the chances that are given to you. In my country we have an old saying:"God gives to you, but He's not putting everything in your bag"...So opportunities may came, but you also have to fight for obtaining them..So, go forward with the belief that everything will be the way its meant to be!!!There's no such things as coincidence..everything is already prepared for you, just take your chance!