When you do not know what's missing..

    I feel soo strange in the last couple of days, i get agitated, irritated so easily, without any good reason. I know that it's not normal, that maybe something inside me its not right, but i do not know what. I was thinking that maybe because of my job, because its too stressful, but now my work is doing better..Then i thought that maybe its because i was tired, so i retired myself a little bit from the outside world, stayed more at home, sleeping more, watching movies, staying more with myself, but that didn't work either. So, i went out with the new friends i made, and i began to feel good...until at one point, when i realized i couldn't stand their jokes: i was nervous again! So i went back home..On the road, in the car, i was almost crying, but not because i left, or because i was nervous, but because i didn't and i still don't understand why..Why am i like this these days???What happened with me? I didn't had any serious problems, and still i feel almost miserable..
   Maybe i miss my friends, my real-who-understand-me- without-questions friends..I miss them soo much, i miss telling them every little thing that happens in my life, i miss the way they knew me..Here i don't have almost anyone who can understands me, i feel alone, although maybe i am not..but the feeling is killing me. I miss the friend that doesn't talk with me, for i do not know what reason, i miss the hugs of the friend who does look for me, i miss laughing with them, or doing stupid little things...

   I know that we are growing up, and the life ahead of us, probably will not be easy, but sometimes i feel that if i have them by my side, it will feel a lot easier..Maybe i miss myself, the real me, the person i am when i have them, because they make me feel myself, they make me feel free. I know that most of the times, i am living in a another world that i see it to be perfect, and in moments like this, a realize that i am living in a dream, and its only me that is dreaming, beliving..maybe that's the thing that hurts the most..and nobody understands ....