Cine va invinge??

   Cand ne nastem nu cunoastem nimic, si totusi plangem..probabil ca suntem speriati deja, fara sa stim de ce. Multi au vorbit despre acest subiect, au scos tot felul de zicale, care mai de care mai adevarate, sau mai intelepte, si evident in cele din urma ne place una, sau ne ghidam dupa una din ele. Exemple ar fi multe, dar ma rezum la una: "atunci cand te nasti toti rad, doar tu plangi..Fa in asa fel incat, atunci cand vei muri, tu sa razi si ceilalti sa planga". Sa fie asa sau nu? dificil de spus..Dar in astfel de expresii nu se zice nimic despre viata pe care ar trebui sa o avem ca sa-i facem pe ceilalti sa planga atunci cand noi vom muri. Si pana la urma de ce ar trebui sa ne chinuim sa-i facem pe ceilalti sa planga la sfarsit? adica, putem sa-i multumim pe toti?
   In ultima perioada unii imi zic ca ma gandesc prea mult, altii ca nu sunt deloc o persoana rationala, ci dimpotriva mult prea emotionala. Dar de ce se rezuma lumea, oameni, doar la persoane rationale si persoane emotionale? Nu pot sa le am pe amandoua? Da, imi place sa simt mai mult decat sa analizez lucrurile, dar si aici depinde de situatie si probabil si de persoanele implicate, dar asta nu inseamna ca nu le trec si prin filtru ratiuni. Poate ca tin cont mai putin de ce-mi dicteaza mintea, preferand ceea ce-mi spune inima, si cu toate astea, mi se pune des eticheta de persoana emotionala, doar pentru ca merg pe principiu ca multe lucruri se simt si atat, fara sa le mai analizez rational. Si chiar daca sunt o persoana mai emotionala, ce e rau in asta? Asta nu inseamna ca nu sunt si realista, ca nu cunosc realitatea, si ca nu as stii ca de cele mai multe ori nu corespunde cu ceea ce simt. Cunosc foarte bine toate astea, si totusi aleg drumul dictat de sentimente. De ce? De ce, ma intreaba unii? De ce sa faci asta cand stii sigur ca vei fi ranit, ca vei dezamagit etc? De ce nu? intreb si eu. Persoanele rationale pe care le cunosc eu, majoritatea nu au trait niciodata la maximum sentimentele pe care le-au avut, si asta tocmai pentru ca le este teama, teama sa nu sufere, sa nu fie dezamagite. Si cu toate astea, multi pretind ca trebuie sa traim fiecare clipa in mod intens si bla bla..Pai cum as putea sa fac asta, sa traiesc viata din plin, daca nu ma mai arunc din cand in cand si fara sa rationez?
    Prefer sa sufar din cand in cand, sa fiu dezamagita, dar macar sa simt la intensitate maxima tot ce se poate, prefer sa simt ca traiesc, decat sa rationez viata. Pierdem multe rationand, riscam ca ceea ce simtim sa se stinga, sau sa treaca pe langa noi. Pana la urma, ce e viata daca nu un sir nesfarsit de riscuri? 

In lumea mea...

      Am trecut prin atatea dezamagiri in ultimii 2-3 ani, incat, recunosc, ca am inceput sa-mi schimb mult modul de a gandi, de a vedea lucrurile, situatiile, oamenii,.am inceput sa-mi schimb idealurile, visele, si nu e neaparat un lucru pozitiv. Multi dintre voi ar putea gandi ca da, e ceva normal, cresti, te maturizezi, dai piept cu lumea reala, cu viata care nu e asa de roz cum credeam..Nu are nicio legatura! Am stiut de mica, ca viata nu e roz ( nu mi-a placut niciodata rozul oricum), parintii mei nu m-au tinut in puf, si niciodata nu mi-au facut mofturile absurde, precum vedem la noile generatii...Nu vorbesc de visele ireale, cauzate de un val care a fost pus peste ochii mei atunci cand eram mica..Eu ma refer la inocenta cu care visam sa crestem mari, pentru ca mai apoi sa ne dorim lucruri bune pentru noi, si pentru cei din jurul nostru. Visam la prieteni buni, sinceri, care sa ne fie alaturi, si care ei la randul lor, sa apeleze la noi cu incredere; visam la intamplari nebune: excursii amuzante pe munte, calatorii spontane in locuri nemaivazute; visam la aceea persoana care sa ne faca sa ne simtim in siguranta, care sa ne ofere protectie si iubire, care sa ne accepte asa cum suntem; visam la un loc al nostru, in care sa simtim ca apartinem, sa fie pentru noi...
    Si apoi, crestem, ajungem sa cunoastem prieteni care ne castiga increderea, pentru ca mai apoi sa ne dezamageasca atat de profund, iar si iar, incat nu mai stii daca merita sa mai lupti sau nu; ne izbim de aventurile nebune, si vedem ca cei de langa noi, vad nebunia altfel, prin alcool, droguri, violente; gasim aceea persoana care ne face sa ne indragostim nebuneste, pentru ca mai apoi sa te faca sa ajungi in cel mai dureros abis posibil; gasim acel loc care ne face sa ne simtim ca de fapt acolo trebuia sa ne nastem, doar pentru ca mai apoi sa fii nevoit sa pleci de acolo, lasand in urma partea cea mai buna din tine...Si ajungi sa te intorci de unde ai plecat, cu visele zdrobite, fara vise noi, fara dorinte de niciun fel, fara asteptari...Si iti zici ( ca doar esti optimist convins) ca totul va fi bine, ca poate e asa doar pentru o scurta perioada de timp, pana te regasesti, pana iti revii..
    Si asa, incurajezi pe cei de langa tine, incerci sa le transmiti tot ce ai simtit acum cativa ani, si ei te cred, te vad insufletit, si isi zic:" e prea tanara, nu  a trecut prin ce am trecut eu, nu stie ce e viata inca, de asta inca maii are incredere si speranta". Apoi seara, mergi acasa. Pe strada doar oameni care simt ce simti si tu: un gol imens! Cauza??? Cine mai tine minte? Ajungi acasa, incerci sa zambesti si sa vorbesti cu familia ta. Apoi mai vorbesti cu unul, cu altul, povestesti nimicurile din ziua respectiva...Dar cand ajungi sa fii tu cu tine insuti, nu te mai poti minti, vezi ca ochii sunt tristi, sufletul se simte pierdut, ratiunea nu mai stie ce sa creada, iar speranta si optimismul sunt doar urme, se scurg incet din tine...
    Atunci inchid ochii, si evadez intr-o lume in care prietenii mei inca imi sunt alaturi, si-mi zambesc, in care cerul e senin, o lume in care inima iinca bate puternic pentru aceea persoana, care ma strange in brate si-mi ofera siguranta ca totul e bine, o lume in care imi gasesc locul, in care ma potrivesc...si raman in aceea lume cateva ore pe zi, in fiecare zi. E o lume pe care nimeni nu o stie, pe care nimeni nu o banuieste, si pe care nimeni nu o poate atinge,..

soulmate where are you???

   I must addmit that I still believe in that one person who is meant to be with you...maybe it sounds a little bit too romantic, or silly, but it's nice to believe that you have a person who is just for you, who will be there for you, and understand you and accept you exactly the way you are...And maybe that belief gives us energy and strenght to keep trying, because without trying, we don't live.
   Love is the only unlimited source of power, strenght and energy. Is the only thing that is worth living, fighting and suffering. No matter how hard things can became if you have love, they don't seem imposible to get over. "Love is passion, obsession, something that you cannot live without. Fall in love head over heals, find someone that you can love like crazy, and that can love you the same way back. How can you find him? well, you forget your head, and listen to your heart. Because the truth is that is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey without love deeply, is like you haven't lived your life at all. But you have to try, because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived." (Meet Joe Black). Its almost the same way i see it. And I miss falling in love!!!

When you do not know what's missing..

    I feel soo strange in the last couple of days, i get agitated, irritated so easily, without any good reason. I know that it's not normal, that maybe something inside me its not right, but i do not know what. I was thinking that maybe because of my job, because its too stressful, but now my work is doing better..Then i thought that maybe its because i was tired, so i retired myself a little bit from the outside world, stayed more at home, sleeping more, watching movies, staying more with myself, but that didn't work either. So, i went out with the new friends i made, and i began to feel good...until at one point, when i realized i couldn't stand their jokes: i was nervous again! So i went back home..On the road, in the car, i was almost crying, but not because i left, or because i was nervous, but because i didn't and i still don't understand why..Why am i like this these days???What happened with me? I didn't had any serious problems, and still i feel almost miserable..
   Maybe i miss my friends, my real-who-understand-me- without-questions friends..I miss them soo much, i miss telling them every little thing that happens in my life, i miss the way they knew me..Here i don't have almost anyone who can understands me, i feel alone, although maybe i am not..but the feeling is killing me. I miss the friend that doesn't talk with me, for i do not know what reason, i miss the hugs of the friend who does look for me, i miss laughing with them, or doing stupid little things...

   I know that we are growing up, and the life ahead of us, probably will not be easy, but sometimes i feel that if i have them by my side, it will feel a lot easier..Maybe i miss myself, the real me, the person i am when i have them, because they make me feel myself, they make me feel free. I know that most of the times, i am living in a another world that i see it to be perfect, and in moments like this, a realize that i am living in a dream, and its only me that is dreaming, beliving..maybe that's the thing that hurts the most..and nobody understands ....

If we let our souls get full of hate..they won!!!

     Those were the words from some kid, in the movie that I want to recommend you guys. I must say that mostly I have been giving you songs, or pictures that inspired me, but today I will give you something different, something that its surprisingly good: MACHINE GUN PREACHER!!!! A movie that is really great, about true facts, true life, a true story.

     We hear so much about war, poverty, hate. We can have opinions, and we can express them, we can even sustain our beliefs strongly in front of everybody, but how many of us really understands and knows how is like to be there, to feel what they feel? Almost nobody. This movie show us the true face of reality, how people can change over and over again. I am not saying anything about the belief in God, or anything else, I just want to point the power that may lay inside of us, and the way we choose to use it. We can either do good, or either ignore everything around us, we can focus our power for a great purpose, or we can just ignore it. What we do, can have amazing effects in the world, can make waves, and echos way beyond our imagination. It's all up to us!! http://www.machinegunpreacher.org/
       The best part of the entire movie, is when this child, who suffered huge traumas, still has the pure heart and the courage, to say: " I had to kill my mom, sa that my brother and I could survive...If we let our souls get full of hate...they won!!!" We are lucky indeed, but it's not enough just to realize this, we must do something, we must use what we have and what we were givin to improve the world and to make it full of love!
     My deas friends, i truely recommend to see this movie, and I expect your opinions, here...Have a nice week!

Relaxation...

   We have moments in our lives that we linger for some peace and quite, to have our own space, our own time, without any interfering, without anyone that could ruin our perfect moment. We humans, are hungry all the time for something, we never have enough: we don't have enough time to be with our friends, or with our loved ones, we don't have time to do what we enjoy, etc. But most important of all, we don't have time for our own.

   I, for one, I must say that I prefer to be surrounded by people, to be with my friends, because I hate to be alone. But from time to time, like now, I prefer to listen to something deep, something that touch you inside, that makes you float, like the one from above...
   Jazz music is one of my favorites..Hope you enjoy, and you relax..find time for yourself!